If it werent for youtube my kids would be dead

YES this happened. AND nobody died. I simply pulled up the remedy for "how to get scentsy wax off my BALLARD AND DESIGN BENCH ( no big DEAL!) and wood floors. Then I walked upstairs and ran a bath with a tiny glass (maybe just the bottle) of wine and let my 3 soccer playing in the house genius children figure it out....quickly. Everybody lived so all is good

How I really feel about my sick kids

So we have been fighting the yuk virus going around...for like a week and a half. I'm going to give you a little rundown of how I deal with my sick kids....yes, the real honest how I really feel !

Day 1: poor guy...Ill make him a vapor bath and soup

 

Day 2 : Ok ok, lets not milk this

Day 3: You little shit! Now my throat hurts, is this normal?

Day 4: all medicated, I look at Trev...oh Fu*king great

Day 5: who the F is responsible for this...I need to call a hitman

Day I have no F'n clue what day it is.....and if my sweet little angel coughs in my face one more time I'm calling the toddler rescue group, if there is such a thing. PLEASE god bring mercy!

 

 

 

 

Another I confess sesh....per Raven

I could confess to all my dirty little secrets ( and when I say dirty, I mean the pee from my boys failure to aim on the back of my toilet I have yet to clean ) BUUUUUT I think Ill confess to my clean little secrets....
I confess if you come to my house unannounced you will not see dirty dishes in my sink, swear.

I confess that I only judge my own home, not my friends, what can I say, to each their own and I        love my friends for who they are, not the status of their home.

I confess that if I don't make my bed before I leave my house I'm paranoid that someone SOMEWHERE is going to judge me for it.
I confess that I have an addiction to vacuuming, I used to vacuum 3 times a day when my kids were little bc I was convinced they would find a fiber on the ground, choke on it and die, until my friend Laurie told me I was insane and needed to get out of my house more ( thanks LA )

I confess that I tilt my head sideways to see my countertops on an even angle when I clean them, the first time I did this I thought I was going to die bc all the shit I was missing when I was wiping them down.

I confess that between my daughter and I, there is more hair in my bathroom than in a great clips. Something needs to be done about this, but bathrooms are not my strong point.

I confess that I do a little dance when all my laundry is done only to find out my little shit ass kids hid some jeans and socks under their bed ( one dark , one light so its not even a good enough reason to start a new load) Talk about PISS ME OFF!

Lastly I confess that if I didn't act like I had a stick up my ass and learned to chill out more I'd have more time for blogging and coffee dates....HELP ME... the end

What a wonderful life...BULLSHIT....

I gotta say, for the most part I'm a realist. Well kind of a bitch. Tisk Tisk, minor details. Either way I say it like it is. I love my kids, will I slap the joyous smile off their face if they spray me with the garden hose? ABSOLUTLY! I'm not "that" over achieving mom who tries to convince all the neighborhood mom squad that I'm going to bake organic dinners when I grab a Costco lasagna and call it a night ( unless its a fend for yourself night and in that case they better hope there is some cans of clam chowder left). That being said I do attend most all games, practices, races etc. Do I find other people's children hitting buckets with sticks ( steel drums) amusing? F no ! Really? Does that make me a bad person or just freaking normal? Do I want to bit*h slap that girl that fouled my daughter in her basketball game...DUH! Today I've had one too many " mom I'm staaaarving" "mom can I buy this app on the X box? it's only the same price as silence..."that's a YES . Mom mom mom mom OMFG that word is starting to feel like when my sweet little perfect kids sprayed me in the face with the garden hose! Can today be over like NOW!

P.S. The reason my roots are so white trash is because of the silence I've been paying for in Microsoft points for the X box. DEAL WITH IT.

5 things that all mom's should be proud of.

I was just thinking that in todays working mom society people have had less and less appreciation for our stay at home moms. Here are a few things that people should appreciate about these brave women.

1. Stay at home mom's spend more time with their children...and yours if your a working mom.

2. A stay at home mom USUALLY has more influence on their child's behavior and can
have a bigger influence.

3. Going to a job everyday would be a mother F'n vacation for us.

4. Since women wanted to be all equal and shit the stay at home mom's get some "lazy" reputation. Sorry but I don't get a lunch break with my friends, get to interact with other adults AND if I get the chance to hang out with my friends I'm to damn tired to.

5. Lets see you haters cook, clean and keep a household running without wanting to microwave your baby....I only say this because it has happened !

So keep on looking down on us stay at home mom's AKA personal assistants to mini demanding people and watch how our kids turn out compared to the ones with abandonment issues, insecurity and too much time without supervision so they can do drugs and have parties while your at your OHHHHH so important job..Hey, don't knock me and I wont have to slap your ass back into the real world! 

Peace and Love , hope you enjoyed that fiery shot of Brandy!

Joining the blog ban wagon...I confess...

I confess.....

I never intended to start my blog for the blogger world, I just wanted to update my friends and family on my personal updates....But I confess after reading all the blogs I started reading I find the " I confess thing" pretty awesome so here I go.

1. I confess that I think that the pledge of allegiance not being said EVERYDAY in school like it was in my day is complete BULLSHIT!\
2. I confess that I'm too damn cheap to pay for cable so I have no clue what is going on in the reality TV world, and I honestly could give 2 shits on what these 10 second of fame attention whores are up to.
3. I confess that I want a playmate body, perfect boobs, nice ass and a flat stomach, but I'm not about to spend all my time trying to achieve it. I'll get a Victoria's secret bra and lie like a mother fucker in my clothes like I have a great rack!
4. This refers to the above confesh, having a baby is no damn excuse to let yourself go..PERIOD!
5.  I'm one moody ass beotch. One day I'm happy and the next...well just don't pull into my parking space at the grocery store when you know I was waiting....that's asking for a shanking!
6. Lastly I confess that the older my children get the less I have ANY guilt with going out of town without them. Fu*k, us mom's get tired too!

OK I'm done for tonight. Look forward to my next vlog on how much alcohol it takes to be over the legal limit...so you lucky bastards will get to see me drunk! BOOM  good time for all!

Enjoy that shot of Brandy....and let it burn going down!

From this day on....ok I'll start tomorrow.

I'm on a mission. I miss my toned tan body. The past couple years have, well sucked. The emotional up and downs have left me less than appealing. Starting tomorrow I am going back to my protein shakes and spark. I HATE the gym. I despise it, loath it. I don't get much time to myself and I'll be damned if I spend it in the gym! So that means I gotta pay attention to what I eat. period. I don't buy into the excuse "I've had kids" because EVERYONE has had kids. It's all about how bad you want it and I want it. Bad. If it results with me in a gym then I guess I'll have to suck it up, but first I'm going to try this!